Why is it important that we have an equal partnership in a marriage? How do we accomplish equality? The definition of equality is often confused with the idea that two things need to be identical when in reality equal means to be "evenly proportioned or balanced". Being balanced requires that the responsibilities that come with marriage are shared between the couple, such as raising children for example. While a mothers primary role should be to nurture and raise the children that does not mean that there is no need for the father to be involved. It's so important for a child to be able to also go to their father to seek comfort. A husbands primary responsibility is to preside and provide for the family. However, the wife needs to be a part of the decision making process. When you get married you become responsible for that person and they literally become you're other half. It is no longer about "you" since you are now interdependent as a couple. That is why there is that strong need to be involved in everything and share those responsibilities.
The best way I can think to emphasis the way responsibilities are shared is through an analogy. When it comes to music, duets are something that can be a beautiful thing but when they are done incorrectly it can be awful. One part cannot be louder or more dominant. In that case one part is lost and it no longer is a duet it becomes a solo. Both parts have to be equal in volume and dynamics. When both parts can be heard the music is more beautiful and meaningful than it could have been before. However, duets take time to make perfect. Those playing the duet need to know their parts before they can come together. They have the understanding that their part doesn't sound good without the other.
In order to achieve that equal partnership a lot of communication between the couple is required. Here are three things found in the book Successful Marriages and Families (2012) that help to form the equal partnership:
1. Be aware of what you expect- If you don't even know what you want then how are you going to be able to communicate that with your spouse?
2. Be reasonable in what you expect- We're all human and yet we all desire a perfect spouse. Make sure that your expectations are built for that person and not based off of someone else
3. Be clear about what you expect- My parents sometimes have a hard time communicating, especially my dad which caused a lot of arguments and tears. A lot of the time subtle hints are caught by our significant others so this is where communication in vital. Don't just assume the other person knows how you are feeling and what you're thinking.
The one thing that will help a couple become "equal" is patience with one another and their family. It takes effort on both parts but it is possible.
Sources:
Dixon C.D., Achieving an equal partnership in marriage (2012). In A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite, & T. Draper (Eds.), Successful Marriages and Families (pp. 27-35). Brigham Young University.
The best way I can think to emphasis the way responsibilities are shared is through an analogy. When it comes to music, duets are something that can be a beautiful thing but when they are done incorrectly it can be awful. One part cannot be louder or more dominant. In that case one part is lost and it no longer is a duet it becomes a solo. Both parts have to be equal in volume and dynamics. When both parts can be heard the music is more beautiful and meaningful than it could have been before. However, duets take time to make perfect. Those playing the duet need to know their parts before they can come together. They have the understanding that their part doesn't sound good without the other.
In order to achieve that equal partnership a lot of communication between the couple is required. Here are three things found in the book Successful Marriages and Families (2012) that help to form the equal partnership:
1. Be aware of what you expect- If you don't even know what you want then how are you going to be able to communicate that with your spouse?
2. Be reasonable in what you expect- We're all human and yet we all desire a perfect spouse. Make sure that your expectations are built for that person and not based off of someone else
3. Be clear about what you expect- My parents sometimes have a hard time communicating, especially my dad which caused a lot of arguments and tears. A lot of the time subtle hints are caught by our significant others so this is where communication in vital. Don't just assume the other person knows how you are feeling and what you're thinking.
The one thing that will help a couple become "equal" is patience with one another and their family. It takes effort on both parts but it is possible.
Sources:
Dixon C.D., Achieving an equal partnership in marriage (2012). In A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite, & T. Draper (Eds.), Successful Marriages and Families (pp. 27-35). Brigham Young University.
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