Saving Your Marriage

Divorce is starting to become incredibly common in our society today. Chances are you know at least five families who have been affected by divorce. Sometimes divorce is necessary but too many times it is something that is rushed into when the marriage can be helped. If your marriage is beginning to have a rough time (and it definitely will) there are ways to decided whether your marriage can be helped or when it's time to move on.

I am positive that my husband and I will argue over things that we probably shouldn't. The important thing is that we don't let our arguments effect our love for one another. If you're married and reading this you probably think I'm naive. Well I won't deny it. But the more I've read about divorce the more I have come to realize that it is completely preventable. It's not easy but it is possible. James E. Faust,  a respected lawyer, politician, and leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave some very profound council when considering divorce. He called it a three part test that will help a couple to make the right decision. 

1. Prolonged difficulties- First part of the test is time. If a problem arises a couple needs to give themselves a lengthy amount of time to attempt to resolve the problem. With that being said the couple does needs to use digression in different situations. If family members are at risk then immediate separation may be the right decision. Do everything possible to fix the problem. When you can literally and honestly say you have done your absolute best to save your marriage then it might be time to move on.   
2. Apparently irredeemable relationships- This is very similar to the first step. In order for divorce to be an option the relationship must reach the point where is is irredeemable. Something that I found incredibly interesting is that if one spouse is unwilling to try to make things, this doesn't mean the other spouse should just give up.
3. Destruction of human dignity- This is where abuse comes into play whether it's physical or emotional. It's when an individual begins to lose his or her sense of worth. When a spouse is deeming and belittles over a long period of time it's important to seek counseling together to try to resolve the problem and give it time to heal but if it keeps occurring then it is definitely time to leave. 

With this three point test you will be able to know what the right decision will be. The first five years of marriage are the most vital and in those years there is a higher chance of divorce. Unfortunately many divorces are based almost solely on emotions and the decision is made quickly. One of the greatest things that I have learned is to try. Try to resolve the problem and work through it together. There are times when divorce is what needs to happen but don't let it be the one thing that you turn to when the going gets tough.